on repeat

For the past few days I have had Bilal Think it Over, and Fantasia Bittersweet on constant replay. These are two songs explain exactly how I have been feeling. Have to listen to them both.

I do not like beating on a dead horse sometimes, so I have come to a small conclusion that right now I am taking some time for me to be with me. That means I most likely will not be going on dates. If I meet a guy that I just cant seem to refuse then, I may pursue a date, but that is no longer my objective.

I need to have some me time. I have explained this to Him, and I don't know how he took it, or is taking it. But his feelings can no longer be my priority right now. Mines are my main focus. After years of being with someone then jumping right into dating, I need to learn how it is to be completely alone. After I perfect it, I will then decide if I want to go back to the relationship that I left.

Sure circumstances are different now for my relationship, it is no longer long distance which I believed played a huge part in its down fall. And now the other person is starting to feel how I once felt, and may change their ways( notice I said may, because I know I cant change anyone). However I am young, and need to be with me. My life is changing in more ways then one. Although I am sure Him would have helped me with the changes that are arising. I need to adjust to these things on my own.

While I am sure Fantasia's Bittersweet will continue to play in my head all damn day. I am starting to become OK with the choice I have made. About staying single for a while( who knows how long that will be). If I do decide in the end that Him is who I really love and want to be with, then I will let him know. If he shoots me down, of course I will cry like a baby, but I'm sure their will be someone out there for me that God wants to be for me.